Demisexuality refers to experiencing sexual attraction or arousal after developing an emotional connection with someone. The term is often found within, but not limited to, the Asexual umbrella. Chen (2020) notes the important distinction that demisexual identity can be characterized by the limited context in which any sexual attraction is felt, distancing themselves from Allosexuals (as cited in Copulsky & Hammack, 2021).
Framing & Perspectives
The term Demisexual was formed by user Sonofzeal in one of the forums on The Asexual Visibility & Education Network (AVEN) when the user felt that the term asexual did not properly convey his need for emotional connection (“Demisexual”, 2018). Delineating demisexual from other umbrella terms involves conditioning sexual attraction. The close relation to asexual spectrum is due to the overlapping behavioral patterns and actions with people who identify as asexual, demisexual, and graysexual. Often these groups of people have similar life experiences surrounding sexuality. People who are asexual or bisexual, may also be demisexual. The distinction comes from the need for emotional connection prior to feeling sexual attraction or arousal. Demisexuality differs in that they are not wanting to wait for an emotional connection before having sex, but rather akin their sexual attraction to asexual until the threshold of a connection forms. For Allosexual’s, waiting for the connection can be a preference but not a necessity (Klein, 2021). The time required to form the needed threshold varies from person to person.
Relevance
Being demisexual is not a new concept, but the terminology is relatively recent. Those who are demisexual, much like others in the asexual spectrum, often find themselves ostracized from both the LGBTQIA+ community as well as the cis community, with a substantial lack of representation. Respecting and utilizing differing identity terminology is crucial to the understanding that everyone’s sexual identity is unique.
Keywords: Bodies, Gender, Sexuality, Sexual Attraction, Emotional Connection, Demiromantic
Connected terms: Pansexual, Asexual, Acronym “LGBTQIAPN+”, Queer, Bisexual, Aromantic, Androsexual, Bodily Autonomy, Gynosexual, Kink, Nonconsensual Pornography
References
Chan, R. C. H., & Hung, F. N. (2024). Sexual Violence Victimization and Substance Use among Individuals Identifying on the Asexual Spectrum: Differences between Asexuality, Graysexuality, and Demisexuality. The Journal of Sex Research, 1–13.https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2024.2351423
Chen, A. (2020). Ace: What asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex. Beacon Press.
Copulsky, D., & Hammack, P. L. (2021). Asexuality, Graysexuality, and Demisexuality: Distinctions in Desire, Behavior, and Identity. The Journal of Sex Research, 60(2), 221–230.https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2021.2012113
Cowan, T., & LeBlanc, A. (2018). Feelings under dynamic description: The asexual spectrum and new ways of being. Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, 38(1), 29–41. https://doi.org/10.1037/teo0000076
Dictionary.com. (2018). Demisexual. In Dictionary.com. Retrieved October 22, 2024, fromhttps://www.dictionary.com/e/gender-sexuality/demisexual/
Jas, & Ynda. (2020). Sexuality in a non-binary world: redefining and expanding the linguistic repertoire. INSEP – Journal of the International Network for Sexual Ethics & Politics, 3(0), 71–92.https://doi.org/10.3224/INSEP.SI2020.05
Klein, J. (2021, November 5). Why demisexuality is as real as any sexual orientation.https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20211101-why-demisexuality-is-as-real-as-any-sexual-orientation
