Aromantic is a romantic orientation that describes those with little to no romantic attraction. The term can be used to describe a specific lack of attraction or used as an umbrella term to describe the spectrum of aromanticism. Aromantic-spectrum and aro-spec are also used to describe people under the aromantic umbrella. Encompassing a range of romantic identities, the aromantic umbrella describes those with varying levels of romantic drive. People may describe themselves as; having no romantic drive, not finding anyone attractive romantically, preferring singlehood, being satisfied with close friendships, and not enjoying or relating to partnered life (Decker, 2015). They may remain unattached, or maintain non-romantic partnerships. You may be aromantic if you don’t experience crushes or interest in a romantic relationship (AVEN, n.d.-a). The following text mentions the pressure aromantic individuals might feel from societal norms and also the shame they are put under if they also do not fit in the accepted norms in the aromantic community. Also it mentions the stigma and prejudice aromantics go under and gives examples of how society judges asexuals.
Framing & Perspectives
The term Aromantic was coined on a 2005 AVEN forum and originates from the Greek prefix ‘a’ meaning ‘not’ or ‘without’ (Rendle, 2023). The current aromantic flag was created by cameronwhimsy on Tumblr (cameronwhimsy, 2014) and is 5 horizontal strips in green, light green, white, gray, and black. Green and light green represent the aromantic spectrum, white represents the importance of non-romantic relationships, and gray and black represent the sexuality spectrum (AUREA, n.d.-a). Romantic orientations are used as an identity or label normally associated with the gendered direction of romantic attraction in relation to their own gender expression (AVEN, n.d.-a; AVEN, n.d.-b). Akin to sexual orientation, people can be heteroromantic, biromantic, aromantic, panromantic, and so forth. Additionally, people may have different or coinciding sexual and romantic orientations. For example, someone can be asexual biromantic, pansexual aromantic, heterosexual aromantic, etc.
Aromanticism describes those who experience little to no romantic attraction or those whose romantic experience differs from amatonormative societal expectations (AUREA, n.d.-a). Amatonormativity – the assumption that pursuing romantic relationships is the norm (AACE, n.d.), is reinforced through legal protections of romantic relationships such as marriage (Fowler et al., 2024). These protections exclude alternative connections such as friendships, polyamorous relationships, and queer-platonic relationships. Perpetuating the idea that romantic relationships should be expected and highly valued in society compared to other forms of relationships.
Many people within the aromantic umbrella have broad perceptions of romance ie. repulsion, lack of interest, confusion, or experiencing it only under certain conditions (AUREA, 2021; Fowler et al., 2024). They may desire emotional intimacy with other people (Brotto et al., 2010; Dawson, McDonnell, & Scott, 2016) and they may pursue sexual relationships without romantic attraction. However, many who do so are often shamed (Decker, 2015). Due to the social chagrin that may accompany people with a sex drive but not a romantic drive, many may identify along one of the gray areas of romantic orientation. People who identify within the gray area may describe themselves as grayromantic.
Relevance
Aromantic people may not only experience stigma as a result of their LGBTQIA+ identity but also specific forms of stigma and prejudice related to their romantic identity that can have harmful repercussions (Fowler et al., 2024). Societal constraints on romantic norms can materialize as limitations on perceptions of what can be considered a happy life. For example, those in non-traditional relationships are often categorized as set to live an unhappy life and are overall seen as less human than those who fit the traditional expectations (fowler). They may be seen as failures, having internal deficits (Conley & Collins, 2002; Fowler et al., 2024), victims of trauma, and potentially even seen as predators (Fowler et al., 2024).
As adults, aromantic people may feel left out and confused about how to pursue their future as their peers’ lives seem to be centered around partnerships (Decker, 2015). They may face heightened stress fighting stereotypes intersecting gender and amatonormativity. For instance, if a man does not desire romantic attachment, he could be labeled a “fuckboy” (Fowler et al., 2024). Similarly, if a woman does the same, she could be deemed a “slut”. The most common discrimination described by aromantics was not being taken seriously, being ignored, or being dismissed by others (AUREA Aro Census Team 2020, 2021). According to the AUREA Aro Census 2020 Report (2021), almost half of the respondents noted they were subjects of attempts to “fix” them. Aromantics are subject to online harassment, difficulty finding or maintaining partnered relationships, being excluded from social activities, and verbal harassment. Around 15% of aromantic people experienced familial rejection and difficulty accessing or being accepted for mental health care.
Many aromantic-spectrum people seek online spaces for community. For that, The Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy was launched in 2019 (Rendle, 2023). Discovering your aromantic identity can be life-changing. Providing pathways for understanding and acceptance of your authentic self.
Keywords: Bodies, Gender, Sexuality
Connected terms: Bisexual, Androsexual, Gynosexual, Kink, Queer Theory, Woke, Acronym “LGBTQIAPN+”, Queer, Demisexual, Pansexual
References
AACE. (n.d.). Allonormativity and Amatonormativity. Asexual & Aromantic Community and Education Club. Retrieved January 12, 2025, from https://sites.smith.edu/aace/about-asexuality-and-aromanticism/allonormativity-and-amatonormativity/
AVEN. (n.d.-a). General FAQ. Retrieved October 18, 2024, from https://www.asexuality.org/?q=general.html
AVEN. (n.d.-b). Romantic Orientations. The Asexual Visibility & Education Network. Retrieved January 14, 2025, from https://www.asexuality.org/?q=romanticorientation
AUREA. (n.d.-a). AUREA – FAQ. Retrieved January 3, 2025, from https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq#what-is-aromanticism
AUREA. (n.d.-b). AUREA – All Aromantic Terms. Retrieved January 3, 2025, from https://www.aromanticism.org/en/all-terms
AUREA Aro Census Team 2020. (2021).The Aro Census 2020 Report. AUREA. https://aromanticism.org/aro-census.
AUREA. (2021). Basic Terms. https://www.aromanticism.org/en/basic-terms
Brotto, L. A., Knudson, G., Inskip, J., Rhodes, K., & Erskine, Y. (2010). Asexuality: A mixed-methods approach. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39(3), 599–618. https://doi.org/10.1007/S10508-008-9434-X/TABLES/4
cameronwhimsy. (2014, February 7). volbol. Tumblr. https://cameronwhimsy.tumblr.com/post/75868343112/ive-been-reading-up-on-a-lot-of-the-discussion
Conley, T. D., & Collins, B. E. (2002). Gender, relationship status and stereotyping about sexual risk. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(11), 1483–1494. https://doi.org/10.1177/014616702237576
Dawson, M., McDonnell, L., & Scott, S. (2016). Negotiating the Boundaries of Intimacy: The Personal Lives of Asexual People. The Sociological Review, 64(2), 349-365. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-954X.12362
Decker, J. S. (2015). The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality * Next Generation. Simon and Schuster. https://books.google.pt/books?hl=en&lr=&id=vTSCDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT11&ots=ieMltuvZcr&sig=LU3WNNTBroqH8rJgx3e5AZq5wNk&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false
Fowler, J. A., Mendis, M., Crook, A., Chavez-Baldini, U., Baca, T., & Dean, J. A. (2024). Exploring Aromanticism Through an Online Qualitative Investigation With the Aromantic Community: “Freeing, Alienating, and Utterly Fantastic.” International Journal of Sexual Health, 36(1), 126–143. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2024.2311158
Rendle, S. (2023). Hopeless Aromantic: An Affirmative Guide to Aromanticism. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2023.
